Sunday, July 13, 2008

a farewell, of sorts

Sadly, it had to be done. Or, perhaps it didn’t.

A choice needed to be made about my involvement with Humboldt Pile Chicago. I decided that I could no longer participate. Instead of talking about the rational for this decision, I’d like to share what this experience has contributed to my awareness of my self and my connection with the earth.

That’s just it “connection with the earth”; a phrase that is utilized profusely these days as we’re scrambling to find solutions to the complete mess we have made of our home. I have been sensing this loss, my deep loss of connection, but I couldn’t even begin to identify what that “connection” looked like, felt like. Well, my time with Test Hole definitely brought all that crap to light.

In the past few months, my perception of this loss has narrowed. Luckily, I have met new folks with a wealth of knowledge who have shown me that the earth is more powerful than I had ever imagined. Even under all of this urban toxicity, its rhythm is strong and generous. And the best part, your own body – no matter what size, color, scent or flavor – carries and creates an ingredient of that generosity everyday. How absolutely freakin beautiful is that!

My decision to quit was purely logistical. The honest conclusion: do I miss the Test Hole, not really. Do I miss my connection, yes. I would say that if I built a composting toilet outhouse in my backyard I’d definitely say adios to the indoor one. Also, if you’re going to poop in a bucket with multiple folks, it’s important to be on the same page about cleaning methods. It takes a lot of trust (and work) to share shit chores with a housemate.

This doesn’t mean that I’m through with composting my poop and piss; I’ll just have to find out what works for me as I reside in this system of a city. Gotta run and pee, maybe I’ll reach for a jar…

1 comment: said...

ooooh thank you so much for this. do you want to mention of the turning point?

only two weeks left, everybody!